I went away for a few days recently (without children) to celebrate my 30th birthday and when I came back I landed with not so much a bump as a shock. And this isn’t the aircraft I’m talking about. No, it was the feeling that I didn’t know how on earth to get back into doing all the things I do and giving all that I give. It prompted me to send out a brief note to many mothers I know telling them just what a fantastic job they do every day without pay and little thanks. When discussing my experience with a friend we talked about needing to fill our own reserves up before we can give to others. She sent me a little quote: "When we connect with our own energy we are more open to the energy of other people. The more alive we feel the more we can contribute to the lives of others."
Another friend is doing a parenting course and they'd recently been covering the same thing; this idea that we have to take something back for all that we give. Anyway, I have to laugh about not feeling like I have enough time for myself because no one's going to find the time for me, it's up to me. Life is full of choices and if I decide it's more important to be comparing the Oftsed reports of two local nurseries at 9.30pm at night instead of cracking on with Rose Tremain's acclaimed "The Road Home" then more fool me.
My husband said the nursery decision was a no-brainer and no Ofsted reading required. He was right as it turns out. I do find him to be such a good decision maker, stripping out all the fluff and getting to the heart of the matter. Bless the man.
Showing posts with label me time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label me time. Show all posts
Saturday, 4 April 2009
Thursday, 5 February 2009
February Coaching Newsletter: February Rocks!
I don’t know about you but I’d rather skip February and march straight to spring. But as that’s not happening I’m wondering if you’ll join me in making Feb a month that rocks because we’re women finding time for ourselves? Let’s call it a four-week festival of me time, self-care and nurturing. And it starts with breakfast.
I am a self-confessed grouch if I don’t get to the majority of my breakfast in peace. To eat all of it in peace is an occasionally fulfilled fantasy when Nick is here to prevent interruption from our children. Probably only other mothers know how much I NEED those 20 minutes to eat alone. It’s small reward for the last two hours I’ve spent getting the house ready for the day and without it I resent any requests (demands?) that come from our son. Particularly ones that involve sharing my breakfast. I am not ashamed to admit that Tikkabilla (the current day’s equivalent of Playschool) goes on most days so I can savour my cereal and set myself up right for the day. If I get the P&Q to chew I’m buoyed enough to do good towards everyone else around me. (If you are nodding and smiling at this point I am pretty sure that you are a mother with small children. If you are sans kiddies you are probably switching off and thinking I need to get out a bit more. But stay with me, there’s a bigger point I’m driving at here).
The bottom line is, all of us need time and treats in order to function well, never mind to make life worth living. When we make time for ourselves to do even the simplest things, we feel good. We feel refreshed and more ready to give to others. I think because of this, it’s really important we strive to and succeed in having several moments to ourselves to do exactly what we want, the way we want it every single day. And although that can be tough in a demanding workplace or around demanding children, we can do it. We just have to make it a priority and to put boundaries in place.
By way of an example, in the last 7 days I’ve stopped doing domestic chores after 8pm; we’ve eaten out midweek; I’ve left the ironing for my husband to do; I got Sainsburys to deliver; I used the local leisure centre crèche twice and done tit-for-tat negotiation with my husband. This has meant I’ve breakfasted in peace a few times; been for a run, done the gym twice and sat in the sauna at our local pool; finished a completely gripping book and started another; listened to a new CD and had a leisurely bath. I’ve also had time to write, think and play with ideas. I’ve had time alone!
I wonder how that compares with you? I’d be really interested to know what floats your boat and how you make space in your busy life. I’m always learning from other people and I’ve got a new interactive blog where you can share and inspire me and others. If you’re a mother to very young children in particular you’ll find more inspiration in March’s Prima Baby magazine (big up to journalist Carol Dyce and her writing to help women lead quality, balanced lives) which has an article about creating time for yourself with a few thoughts from me thrown in.
I am a self-confessed grouch if I don’t get to the majority of my breakfast in peace. To eat all of it in peace is an occasionally fulfilled fantasy when Nick is here to prevent interruption from our children. Probably only other mothers know how much I NEED those 20 minutes to eat alone. It’s small reward for the last two hours I’ve spent getting the house ready for the day and without it I resent any requests (demands?) that come from our son. Particularly ones that involve sharing my breakfast. I am not ashamed to admit that Tikkabilla (the current day’s equivalent of Playschool) goes on most days so I can savour my cereal and set myself up right for the day. If I get the P&Q to chew I’m buoyed enough to do good towards everyone else around me. (If you are nodding and smiling at this point I am pretty sure that you are a mother with small children. If you are sans kiddies you are probably switching off and thinking I need to get out a bit more. But stay with me, there’s a bigger point I’m driving at here).
The bottom line is, all of us need time and treats in order to function well, never mind to make life worth living. When we make time for ourselves to do even the simplest things, we feel good. We feel refreshed and more ready to give to others. I think because of this, it’s really important we strive to and succeed in having several moments to ourselves to do exactly what we want, the way we want it every single day. And although that can be tough in a demanding workplace or around demanding children, we can do it. We just have to make it a priority and to put boundaries in place.
By way of an example, in the last 7 days I’ve stopped doing domestic chores after 8pm; we’ve eaten out midweek; I’ve left the ironing for my husband to do; I got Sainsburys to deliver; I used the local leisure centre crèche twice and done tit-for-tat negotiation with my husband. This has meant I’ve breakfasted in peace a few times; been for a run, done the gym twice and sat in the sauna at our local pool; finished a completely gripping book and started another; listened to a new CD and had a leisurely bath. I’ve also had time to write, think and play with ideas. I’ve had time alone!
I wonder how that compares with you? I’d be really interested to know what floats your boat and how you make space in your busy life. I’m always learning from other people and I’ve got a new interactive blog where you can share and inspire me and others. If you’re a mother to very young children in particular you’ll find more inspiration in March’s Prima Baby magazine (big up to journalist Carol Dyce and her writing to help women lead quality, balanced lives) which has an article about creating time for yourself with a few thoughts from me thrown in.
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