Friday 17 April 2009

DSD Weeks 3&4

Husband has declared he has too many other projects on the go to partake of this month's DSD (see January 2nd posting on 'Do Something Different' challenges), so it's just me focussing on community spirit for the next seven days. He makes a good point that with just two hours spare after the babies are in bed, you really have to spend it on what you want. Fair play to him. I think he'll be back on board next month though. At least I hope he is given the nature of the something different. Knowing that community was the theme for April I answered the plight of a local playgroup organiser who's about to hang up her keys and move out of the area with no one ready to take up the reins. I just couldn't bare to see it fold knowing from experience that it's much harder to get something going than keep it going. A bit like plate spinning I expect, ha ha ha.

I think I need a new word to decsribe my busyness though. 'Busy' just doesn't cut it. I have taken multi-tasking to a whole new level. I found myself folding just-laundered-washing whilst I was stationary at the traffic lights this lunchtime. I wonder if that's illegal? Am I mad? Paradoxically, I've morphed into some new uber chilled mummy this week as a way to improve number 1 child's typical toddler behaviour. And it's worked. I think that's why I've gone into hyperdrive when I'm not with him - I've got to catch up on everything that needs doing. He's been an absolute delight and I'm totally in love with him. Attention, interest and slowness seem to work wonders - thanks all the ladies on the NCT forum who shared their stories and tips with me. That's community spirit if ever I saw it. Anyway, back to DSDs. Week 3 was "Go Veggie" (in March) and that passed off easily and successfully. At least it did if you count fish as veggie? A friend told me my DSDs had inspired her and her husband to try a new recipe every week and that made me feel good. There's nothing like moving other people's minds.

Finally, Giles Coren (straight-talking food critic for The Times, chum of Gordon Ramsey I think) has been entertaining me on Radio 4's "Any Questions" this evening whilst I type (must nock this multi-tasking on the head). He's top of my fantasy dinner party guest list and the guy is an absolute scream. Check this out for a passionate rant.

Thursday 9 April 2009

No Limits

I am coaching a most amazing woman at the moment (exceptionally self aware, determined, strong and emotonally intelligent) and an e-mail from her to me recently was too powerful not to share. So here, with her permission, is a short piece about bashing barriers out the way and doing something difficult:

Hi Jessica

Whilst swimmimg this afternoon I was thinking about the question of "limits".... I came to the conclusion that I don't really believe that there are many genuine ones. There are a few limits set out by nature for instance altitude which to some extent you can train for and to some extent there will be a genetic advantage/disadvantage. I do believe that I could do anything if I set my mind to doing it...and I also believe that goes for anybody. If a man who is told he will never walk or talk again, the boxer Michael Watson, can go on to complete the London marathon in a week. If an 80 year old woman can do Ironman triathlon. If a man who is paralysed from the neck down can climb a mountain using his arms, along with the many other things that Marc Heremans has achieved as a paralysed athlete. If a 65 year old man can pull his 40year old disabled son in a rubber dinghy around a 2.4 mile sea swim, sit him on the front of his bike and cycle a 112 mile course and then run the 26.2 mile marathon pushing him in a buggy.....with all of that surely the only real limits are those we may put on ourselves!!!!

I think a big factor in achieving seemingly distant or unachievable goals is being able to push past your comfort zone. Recognising that whatever discomfort you may feel it will be temporary. I have often in my endeavours and indeed in life used the memory of a past painful or challenging experience to remind myself of my strength. Similarly if I am going through something difficult I try and focus on it in such a way that allows me to bottle it almost like a remedy, to use at a later date when I am struggling. For instance when I recently had an abcess under one of my teeth, which was excrutiatingly painful, I tried to think about how it would make me stronger and that it would put extra reserves in my tank ready to be used when I need them. I think most people do not tap into those reserves that they may have, often not recognising what they have got themselves through in the past...and dismissing the idea that they could achieve a certain goal because it seems out of their league....

There were lots more thoughts during my hour and a half in the pool!!!!


She's incredible and she's going to be doing her umpteenth Iron Man competition in Lanzarote in May. She inspires me and my running to say the least.

Saturday 4 April 2009

Finding Time

I went away for a few days recently (without children) to celebrate my 30th birthday and when I came back I landed with not so much a bump as a shock. And this isn’t the aircraft I’m talking about. No, it was the feeling that I didn’t know how on earth to get back into doing all the things I do and giving all that I give. It prompted me to send out a brief note to many mothers I know telling them just what a fantastic job they do every day without pay and little thanks. When discussing my experience with a friend we talked about needing to fill our own reserves up before we can give to others. She sent me a little quote: "When we connect with our own energy we are more open to the energy of other people. The more alive we feel the more we can contribute to the lives of others."

Another friend is doing a parenting course and they'd recently been covering the same thing; this idea that we have to take something back for all that we give. Anyway, I have to laugh about not feeling like I have enough time for myself because no one's going to find the time for me, it's up to me. Life is full of choices and if I decide it's more important to be comparing the Oftsed reports of two local nurseries at 9.30pm at night instead of cracking on with Rose Tremain's acclaimed "The Road Home" then more fool me.

My husband said the nursery decision was a no-brainer and no Ofsted reading required. He was right as it turns out. I do find him to be such a good decision maker, stripping out all the fluff and getting to the heart of the matter. Bless the man.