The School of Life

Margaret Mead's quip about a small group of people being the only thing that ever did change the world has been ringing in my ears of late. I'm not sure why, but as the latest "School of Life" newsletter pinged into my inbox this evening I sat for a moment and thought about all the amazing people that do bold things. Who risk trying something new. Who put their ideas into action and not just think them! The School of Life is an absolutely brilliant idea and I'd love to do all the courses they've got going on this spring. I'm also taking inspiration from a client who does extraordinary athletic feats and thinking about what she does made me work that little bit harder to up my running game at the weekend. I've made it to 10K. Hooray! Then I watched a traumatic documentary about a chap that attempted to be the first person to kayak from Australia to New Zealand and wondered when sporting endeavour has gone too far. I love stuff like this as it puts me on the edge of my seat and into a state of awe and amazement. I recently watched "Man on Wire" and that too was just incredible. "The White Spider" will be my holiday reading next week which is the tale of an extraordinary climbing endeavour on the Eiger. I can't get enough of the stuff and it fuels my dream of trekking to Everest Base Camp one day. A dream that became a little bit more real after a 'Dream Diary' evening with a couple of local ladies last night. I'm so pleased I went even though I was shattered. Honestly, it's a mighty challenge to get these bits of time to myself with two small children but when I get them, I really do make the most of it. Big shout out to all the mothers I know (and don't know) who keep finding time to go beyond domesticity to nurture and develop themselves. The washing up can wait!

DSD Week 2: Kindness II

It's the end of the week and I'm pleased with what we've done, although nothing's been particularly random. We've made a rhubabrb cake and given it the ladies at our gym's creche; done all the ironing (a chore Nick usually does); paid for some of an old chap's shopping in Wilko's when he couldn't find enough change; taken a friend to lunch; made dinner for our childminder and family; let a very slow moving tractor pull out in front of me; taken flowers to a friend; visited some elderly neighbours from where we used to live; helped a novice user of the gym I go to; bought a book for a friend's child to explain his mother's burgeoning tummy; baked cakes for Nick's workmates; delivered food to a friend after her holiday; given sincere thanks to a harassed postman for all the hardwork him and the R/M do; cooked Sunday lunch for pals. Then there's been all the little things we always do - the smiles, chatting to elderly early morning walkers, opening doors, helping people with buggies etc.

DSD Week 2: Kindness

It's day 2 of the second Team Chivers "Do Something Different" 2009 Challenge - a week of Random Acts of Kindness (the first was a week of no spend in January). Yesterday I was disappointed that I didn't come across more opportunities to be kind and I think a lot of what I did I would have done anyway, except maybe do all the ironing (one of Nick's chores) and think to buy the lovely park attendant a cup of coffee for all his efforts to clear the snow outside the gym. But that was a frustration in itself as I couldn't get safely to a cafe with a toddler on the loose next to a main road so I didn't. The thought was there though! I took cake into the ladies in the gym creche, opened plenty of doors and did lots of smiling. Today my big gesture is going to be to double up on our evening meal and leave half with our childminding team for their dinner this evening and also treat a friend to lunch. I think I need to drop the term 'random' for this week as my ideas aren't particularly.

February Coaching Newsletter: February Rocks!

I don’t know about you but I’d rather skip February and march straight to spring. But as that’s not happening I’m wondering if you’ll join me in making Feb a month that rocks because we’re women finding time for ourselves? Let’s call it a four-week festival of me time, self-care and nurturing. And it starts with breakfast.

I am a self-confessed grouch if I don’t get to the majority of my breakfast in peace. To eat all of it in peace is an occasionally fulfilled fantasy when Nick is here to prevent interruption from our children. Probably only other mothers know how much I NEED those 20 minutes to eat alone. It’s small reward for the last two hours I’ve spent getting the house ready for the day and without it I resent any requests (demands?) that come from our son. Particularly ones that involve sharing my breakfast. I am not ashamed to admit that Tikkabilla (the current day’s equivalent of Playschool) goes on most days so I can savour my cereal and set myself up right for the day. If I get the P&Q to chew I’m buoyed enough to do good towards everyone else around me. (If you are nodding and smiling at this point I am pretty sure that you are a mother with small children. If you are sans kiddies you are probably switching off and thinking I need to get out a bit more. But stay with me, there’s a bigger point I’m driving at here).

The bottom line is, all of us need time and treats in order to function well, never mind to make life worth living. When we make time for ourselves to do even the simplest things, we feel good. We feel refreshed and more ready to give to others. I think because of this, it’s really important we strive to and succeed in having several moments to ourselves to do exactly what we want, the way we want it every single day. And although that can be tough in a demanding workplace or around demanding children, we can do it. We just have to make it a priority and to put boundaries in place.

By way of an example, in the last 7 days I’ve stopped doing domestic chores after 8pm; we’ve eaten out midweek; I’ve left the ironing for my husband to do; I got Sainsburys to deliver; I used the local leisure centre crèche twice and done tit-for-tat negotiation with my husband. This has meant I’ve breakfasted in peace a few times; been for a run, done the gym twice and sat in the sauna at our local pool; finished a completely gripping book and started another; listened to a new CD and had a leisurely bath. I’ve also had time to write, think and play with ideas. I’ve had time alone!

I wonder how that compares with you? I’d be really interested to know what floats your boat and how you make space in your busy life. I’m always learning from other people and I’ve got a new interactive blog where you can share and inspire me and others. If you’re a mother to very young children in particular you’ll find more inspiration in March’s Prima Baby magazine (big up to journalist Carol Dyce and her writing to help women lead quality, balanced lives) which has an article about creating time for yourself with a few thoughts from me thrown in.

More Kindness

Whilst reading Christopher Peterson's thoughtful and engaging Primer of Positive Psychology, I came across a website to inspire us for this month's 'Do Something Different' challenge (random acts of kindness, 14-20th Feb). www.actsofkindness.org is a well put together resource to encourage all of us to be a little bit kinder and in a freak coincidence the site bills 9-15 February as RAOK Week...so I think we'll tie in with this instead. So far I haven't got beyond the idea of giving things away (baking, books left on benches etc) and opening doors and helping old ladies with their shopping so I think I need to work on my randomness. Perhaps once I get going I'll get more random?

Kindness

We had friends for dinner at the weekend and were discussing the "Team Chivers" year of DSD challenges (Do Something Different). Having knocked the first one off (no spend for a week) we're fairly confident we can do the rest, although March's wartime rations is going to be a toughie. Or maybe not depending on how I'm doing at curbing the growth of my sweet tooth come sun down. So in a fortnight's time February's challenge is to focus on random acts of kindness for a week. This inspired our dinner pals to extend a hand of kindness to their elderly neighbours today (a difficult and pride-swallowing task given how much they've been costing them in planning application objections recently) and it makes me feel more than a little bit nice to know that I've rubbed off on someone in a positive way. And they rubbed off on me too in that I'm heeding their suggestion to re-read a favourite book (something I've never thought a particularly worthwhile thing to do) and we're going to incorporate their joint favourtite film into our November challenge. The book re-reading is interesting in that I will happily re-watch a favourite film or a CD but have always thought it odd to do it with a book. But as Kim pointed out, every time you read it you get soemthing new from it and the book becomes like a best friend. She reads Pride and Prejudice every year and I'm wondering what I might grow to have the same sort of affection for. Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca maybe? Right now though I have the final 30 pages of No Time for Goodbye, a slice of carrot cake and a silent house to savour.