Cinema Sunday

When your toddler decides he nolonger needs an afternoon nap and your baby wakes several times in the night, a Sunday afternoon at the cinema (to sleep?) is a perfect way to unwind. And knowing that the person who's looking after your kids is really enjoying herself is the cherry on the top. I tell you ladies, self-care is an essential part of motherhood. If you don't take care of your self (rest, relaxation, indulgences and little treats every day) then you can't take care of the family. So it was that we went off to see 'Slumdog Millionaire' - the 'feelgood' film of the moment. Although it was uplifting in many ways (triumph of human spirit in face of adversity...) it was also deeply distressing to understand what a life in the slums of India is like. It made me reflect on our social welfare system in the UK and also about what's missing here in the west. India seems - in my limited experience - full of colour, full of smiles and full of grafters. I think they could teach us a thing or two. It ties in nicely with a talk I'm writing at the moment for The Vitality Show about happiness.

No Spend, Accomplished!

I've realised the more you set yourself a difficult challenge and accomplish it, the better equipped you feel to tackle other challenges (that may have no relation to the first). This isn't a new idea and one I'm sure Socrates or some such great thinker pondered long before me, but it's absolutely true. I'm thinking of my running efforts and my no-spend challenge in the last week (see posting on Friday 2nd Jan). On day 4 of the no spend 'DSD' I made myself proud with my longest run for well over a year. It wasn't my fastest time, but it was difficult (we now live on top of a hill!) and it was a stretching challenge and boy did I feel proud at the end of it. By finishing off the run and hitting my target despite jelly legs, I felt geed up to make sure Team Chivers accomplished the seven day no-spend goal. And we did. No weekend foodie treats, no Amazon orders (I am forever buying books), no cups of tea in the cafe in the park, no playgroup, no Saturday or Sunday papers. No spending whatsoever, save for a little top up shopping on Saturday which was allowed in 'the rules' (it was only a bit of salad so hardly a thrill...) and it even made us bring potty training forward as we ran out of nappies! The things that money can't buy, hey?

My Cousin Rachel

Last January, being a lover of lists and planning, I did something very geeky (a lot like me) and that was to prepare a reading list. The intention was to make sure I got through a handful of books I've been vowing to make time for but had been displaced by the suggestions of friends and Psychologies magazine for the past two years. So with 100 pages left of my last book for 2008 (Daphne Du Maurier's 'My Cousin Rachel') I'm looking back at everything I've read. I didn't make myself stick at stuff I wasn't enjoying (my reading opportunities are way too short for that silliness) so What Mothers Do, The Ya Ya Sisterhood (Yawn Yawn Sisterhood?) and Quarantine didn't get ticked off. I tried and gave up on Dorris Lessing's The Golden Notebook too, but as that was not on my original list I needn't feel too bad. My favourites from the original list were Helen Dunmore's The Siege (my god that made me feel grateful for my life); Bill Bryson's Notes from a Small Island (outspoken wit I couldn't stop laughing and nodding along to) and Into Thin Air by John Krakauer (which has left me wanting to trek to Everest base camp). In addition to that lot I really recommend the following that I picked up during the year:- A Thousand Splendid Suns; The Point of Rescue; One Good Turn and The Post Birthday World. These come from terrific writers. So to 2009 and I'll be starting with The Almost Moon by Alice Seebold as soon as My Cousin Rachel has gone back to the library.

Doing Something Different

I used to love new year's resolutions as an overweight teenager. Every year I would vow to stop biting my nails, lose weight and become attractive to the opposite sex. It seemed so easy and that there was some magic in the air in January that would make it happen all by itself just because it was a new year and a beautiful new calendar hung in my room. Then I grew up, used my head (changed my attitude, thought less about calories and more about nourishing my body and started running) and there's not been a fatty in sight for years. Anyway, I haven't done NYRs for a long time. This year Nick and I spent the time the children were asleep on New Year's day thinking up a load of different things we could do for one week every month to challenge ourselves and stir our routines up a bit (I am learning that when the kids are asleep I must not do housework and that sex, reading or just doing nothing is better. So with wifely duties achieved, ha ha ha, we had time to make lists...). The result is as follows:-

JANUARY, Spend nothing (except for food and fuel)
FEBRUARY, Random acts of kindness towards friends and strangers
MARCH, Wartime rations – investigation to be done
APRIL, Community service – litter picking and anything else that serves others near to us
MAY, More romance! More love! More sex!
JUNE, Bed at sunset, up at sunrise
JULY, Plant something or create something
AUGUST, No TV, do something less passive instead
SEPTEMBER, Vegetarian
OCTOBER, No swearing, learn new words (www.dictionary.com)
NOVEMBER, Watch someone’s favourite film every night – decide the 7 ‘someones’
DECEMBER, Phone a friend – connect through the phone, not e-mails